As humans, we spend all our earthly existence, looking outside ourselves in trembling fear for dragons to slay. I believe, we all are living a story, a myth, the myth of who we really are. The man and woman, with the little boy's and little girl's name, our mother's blessed to us at birth.
Fight as we might, the dragons of the devil in this world, are simply to hard to beat on our own. Only God Himself, has any chance at all of killing the Devil on this earth. We need our friends and family, to protect us and teach us all the little things we'll need along the journey of the story called our life.
Some who reveal themselves, are Guardian Angels. Like Greg Matters is to me. Guardian Angels, are the ones we find by accident, now lighting our pathways from heaven, to help us find our own way.
Through growing this as our ultimate, personal understanding, we then learn that we are special and unique. This is, for me, the ultimate quest. And the biggest part of this adventure called life, is to find, that one and only true love on this earth, who no matter what, will be with us all the way through our own, unique inner spiritual quest to find ourselves. Our true selves.
In order to learn to cherish that person, for the rest of our earthly life. We must, MUST, slay all our inner dragons: defeat them: kill them, so they can never again, take that cherished person of gold away from us, carrying her off to their secret den.
In order to beat the devil inside, we do need to choose to die. Not a physical death, like Suicide can bring. A symbolic, inner-death of the false selves we've allowed ourselves to become. We only need to learn not to fear. Not to fear The Angel of Death, that can strike us down and carry us away itself. This hideous angel, that reveals itself to us in the form of traumatic experience, this for me was the devil inside.
Death is, our ultimate dragon to slay in terms of outer fear. Inside of ourselves, what we all need is a dream. A secret dream that we only share with God, or our Highest Self, whatever label we want to give to This Power, that lives in each and every one of us who, trust me, is big enough to understand any labels we may choose to use.
Trauma? Psychological Trauma? Some call it, Sin? Whatever label we choose to give to that, trust me too when I say: when we choose to fight the trauma to its death, WE WILL, ULTIMATELY WIN.
Not on our own. No way. We haven't the strength as humans to do that. Many, give up and I've suffered every time the devil of suicide flashes it's drama across the news. In it's now powerless attempts through depressive lies, suicide death tries desperately to tell me, that suicide is why I'm on earth. I'm so blessed today, to finally accept that death by my own hand is not what trauma meant to teach me, as the ultimate achievement of success I am being groomed for, to leave as my own mark on the planet. Just like so many of my fallen brethren chose for themselves, across Canada these past eleven horrific weeks of earthly hell. Depressive lies taught them to do what they've chosen for themselves.
Never, never give up your life, if you can help it. Therapists? Clinicians? Who are they on this earth?
The best ones, are our Shamans. Our Teachers. Our Guides. And, in order to survive something as horrific as PTSD and Addictions. In reality, all we need to do, is find that one, two, three or four special Shamans in our lives, whose magic will, trust me on this: she will make all the pain inside, forever fade away.
Suicide, some say is painless? No. That isn't true, It never is. Choosing Life over Death. That's where the real pain comes from.
Growth is really all were after when we've been traumatized. Beating PTSD all the way, takes Courage, Dedication, Intelligence, Commitment and Heart: all the elements of true human and spiritual strength. Just know, whether you want to believe it or not, God/The Creator/The Universe, whatever label you personally need to place on this Huge Magic Inside Ourselves, will be with you, all the way.
Hope. Dream. Create a dream only you and God know about. Keep that one, sacred, all to yourself. Share the dream, with no-one else on this earth. You'll get there. You can beat PTSD, all the way. I have faith, in all of you. And, trust me? So does He.
"In Loving Memory of a Guardian Angel, Greg Matters. May you Now, in my own Soul, Forever Rest, In Peace."
~ Darren Michael Gregory: August, 5th, 2014.